“The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give His church. It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality, but is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable…You can tell people secrets and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and to be loved.”
Chuck Swindoll, in Dropping Your Guard
This quote absolutely breaks me. Because it is so true. And because so many people are trying to fill this need in bars and not in our churches.
Oh that our churches would truly exhibit this kind of God-designed community.
Another long week it has surely been, and I am exhausted. Tomorrow when I get off work, Kristi and I are heading to Savannah to celebrate our 2 year anniversary, and I don’t remember ever being this excited to get away for a bit and rest.
2 years. It was Tuesday. I got sick from the restaurant we ate at and went to bed at 10:00. I have to be really sick to go to bed at 10:00.
I’m hoping Savannah will be better. I’m gonna try to track down Paula Dean’s restaurant and surely her food won’t make me sick.
2 years. I am unceasingly thankful for every day…all 730 of them. I didn’t think it possible because of the trajectory of our culture, but my affections have done nothing but grown for her over the past two years. Steadily. I adore this girl with every fiber, so much so that it makes me feel like I’m exploding sometimes when I kiss her goodnight. I can’t get a tight enough hug from her when I get home from work each day.
I’ve been thinking about what my favorite parts of marriage are, and the most important lessons I’ve learned so far.
Favorite part of marriage: This is going to sound lame, and I need to explain. Kristi doesn’t like to be touched when she’s falling asleep. I happen to love to cuddle up to her, because a) she smells good and b) because she is frugal and freezes us to death with no heat when its cold. Which is maybe the reason God created her to go to bed at 10:00 and me to stay up til 2:00. So every night, no matter how tired I am, how long of a day it has been…whatever–I get to walk heavy-eyed into our bedroom and crawl into a warmed up bed to my wife…who happens to like to cuddle after she’s asleep! So I can put my arm around her, scrunch up close to her and get warm, and kiss her on the cheek as she stirs. I literally cannot help but to smile every time and any frustrations from the day that I carried into the bedroom now just look silly. And this just may be one of my favorite parts of every day.
Most important thing I’ve learned: that the quality of life in our marriage depends primarily on how quickly we repent of sin. Arguments and hurt feelings are going to happen, and it is our choice whether they make 3 minutes miserable or 3 days miserable. Life is so much better if you choose 3 minutes.
I love you immeasurably babe…happy (late) anniversary. Let’s go eat some macaroni and cheese!
“When relationships are built around the truths of the gospel—the truth that we are walking in light even though we are still sinners in need of cleansing by his blood—we can be free from feelings of inferiority and the demanding spirit that is born of pride. We can pursue relationships without fear of being discovered as the sinners we are. This kind of open relationship rests solely on the realities of the gospel. We are more sinful and flawed than we ever dared believe, and so is everyone we know. Because of this, we won’t be surprised by other’s sins. They won’t expect us to be sinless either, so we don’t have to give in to self-condemnation and fear when they see us as we really are. We don’t have to hide or pretend anymore.
The gospel also tells us that we are loved and welcomed without any merit on our part, so we can love and welcome others whose merits we can’t see. We can remember the circumstances under which we have been forgiven, and we can forgive in the same way. We don’t deserve relationship with the Trinity, but it has been given to us. We can seek our relationships with others because we know that we have been sought out by him and that he is carrying us all on his shoulders.”
- Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Dennis E. Johnson, Counsel From The Cross
I wish I could have been there to see this in person. Unbelievable. You really do have to watch at least the middle part of this video, starting around 3:45. I’m serious, its not optional.
A little preview of heaven.
I’m really excited about seeing this movie when it comes out. October 27th…
On a related note, I went to see Richard Dawkins tonight, the prominent evangelistic atheist/evolutionary biologist. It was a great experience and here are a few thoughts:
- He is a smart dude, and has the added bonus of a British accent, which automatically gives you 15 smart points. If it were a debate, we would need N.T. Wright or the late C.S. Lewis(for their accents) just so we could start out on the same smart level.
- I would bet my life savings that he has been extraordinarily hurt by a believer in God of some kind. But who am I kidding about that being a significant bet?
- On a few points where I really wanted to hear his response(such as irreducible complexity), he dodged the issue and instead simply talked very badly about people who believe in God. That was disappointing.
- I have never realized how much harm has been done by ignorant and arrogant Christians as much as I did tonight.
- Living and ministering in the Bible Belt, this issue isn’t always the most prominent thing we have to be concerned about. But I have never been more convinced that regardless Christians everywhere need to make studying this issue a priority and be able to support our arguments intelligibly. I have a new found desire and commitment to do so.
“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
1 Peter 3.15
I love this–it is straight off of the Powerpoint notes for my OT class at CIU…
Moses’ excuses for resisting God’s call:
- “I’m not qualified” (3:11)
- “I don’t know enough” (3:13)
- “Others won’t accept me” (4:1)
- “I don’t have those gifts” (4:10)
- “I really don’t want to do it” (4:13)
What’s your excuse?
I might be a million years late on this one, but I just found out yesterday that you can download the Phil Wickham album, “Singalong,” for free from here. It is a live worship album of some phenomenal songs and hymns…and let’s be honest, there’s not much that can beat recorded live worship. If you don’t have it and you don’t go download it right now, you must have hit your head on something.
The other day in my Church and Mission Health class at CIU we were talking about the relationship between spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy, and my professor shared a disturbing statistic from Christianity Today. In this study of pastors who had cheated on their wives, 92% of the pastors reported that their sexual misconduct was a direct result of a counseling relationship with a female who was not their wife. The professor went on to give a typical scenario, where the pastor starts a counseling relationship with a female, they start getting into deeper junk in her life, praying intensely together, and before you know it they have reached a level of intimacy where all God-honoring boundaries are forgotten and physical intimacy naturally follows. He then shared another shocking statistic that stated an overwhelming majority of pastors do not feel comfortable praying with their wives. So essentially, because of a lack of proper care and focus in their marriage, many pastors are getting levels of intimacy from female church members that they are not getting from their wives, and this clearly lends itself to having an affair.
This hit me in a few ways:
1. It broke my heart again over the sins of our pastors and leaders.
2. It gave me a reinforced desire to pursue emotional and spiritual intimacy with my wife, pray together often, and love her more fiercely.
3. It made me very thankful how careful we are at Midtown to try to keep counseling relationships strictly same gender by raising up Godly women in our family to guide and counsel other women. I think in light of this statistic, the importance of our churches doing this cannot be overstated.
I am in no way saying that we cannot be brothers and sisters in Christ and have healthy, God-honoring relationships across gender lines…I am only stating the fact that this can be dangerous ground and must be pursued with the highest level of caution and intentionality.
So pastors, please, lets man up and love our wives well. Pray together often. Actually take the time to make them a priority and know what’s going on in their lives. If you can’t do this with how busy you are in ministry, then quit your job. And don’t you dare develop some ‘hero complex’ where you think you can swoop in and save all the hurting women that approach you. If you really care about them you will line them up with Godly women who can properly care for them and be an example to them. Please don’t risk your marriage and your ministry by entering into an unhealthy relationship.
One:
Church planters: stop wasting God’s money! I think this is a very important word to the uber-cool church planting culture we find ourselves in the midst of here in America. I cringe at many things that churches spend money on these days, and it is a scary thing to think that we are held accountable to God for every dime.
Two:
Please take a minute to read this blog by a member from John Piper’s church. It is such a joy and a great reminder that what people really need are pastors who genuinely love their people.
350 years huh?
World’s longest basketball shot?
Another angle…
